Heartbreak Pillows

Injured heart.

Breaking up was hard. The rejection, loss and emptiness. Not to mention all the nasty butterscotch ripple effects.

'This was my favorite song back when I had feelings.'

"I'm afraid that any expenses incurred attempting to repair a broken heart are not tax-deductible."

Cardiology

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

Tears

'Just so you know, the spoiler alert didn't ease the pain of being dumped.'

We can still be friends cafe.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

It must be love, thought Carl, because, hemorrhoids don't hurt this bad....

Her tears flowed like wine.

Sawing Down Tree

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

Unrequited Love

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Blues artis's daily list

"I know. I miss him, too."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Grief counselling'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"Oh no! You, again?"