Heartbreak Humor Pillows

We can still be friends cafe.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Romance

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Barman In Love.

Phoenix

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Caterpillars in love

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Ereptile Dysfunction

'I miss the days when you used to wear cologne instead of just rolling in something in the backyard.'

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"The phrase is 'score,' dude."

Valentines

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

Daughter/psychiatrist

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

"Is the light bothering you?"

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'