Heartbreaker Humorist Pillows

R.A. is a nympho.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Phoenix

Barman In Love.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Caterpillars in love

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Valentines Day Cats

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Valentines

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

Kissing Hands

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"I know you're a brain cell, but can't you act more like a heart cell?"

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

Same Sexless Marriage

A heart flies out during an operation.

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."