Heart Humorist Pillows

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

Phoenix

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Barman In Love.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

Tunnel of Like.

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Dating in 2020

Homophone Encounter

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Caterpillars in love

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"It's not what you think."

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'