Breakup Enthusiast Pillows

Bye, Bye, Slob!

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"It's not you-it's me."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Ereptile Dysfunction

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Recently separated."

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"Of course we'll still be friends...."

"I think it's time I left Mr. Right!"