Quirky Breakup Enthusiast Pillows

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"It's not you-it's me."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Storage Unit of Love

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.

'This relationship just isn't working. I'm out.'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

Mouse on mouse action.

'Who says it has to be tongues?'

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

"I want you to have it. It's a lock of my hair replacement."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

'I'm worried about him. He's becoming emotionaly involved with the vacuum cleaner.'

"Well, goodbye, Emily. It's May 19th. You may remember my having mentioned some time ago that I was going to leave you on May 19th."

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."

Emotional Baggage Carousel. (Women waiting for bags appear angry and upset.)

"Before our date goes any further...do you have any allergy or high cholesterol issues?"

'Actually, I'm more of a control nut - not a control freak. A nut is a freak you kind of like.'

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."