Quirky Breakup Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"You don't whisper anymore."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"It's not you-it's me."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Storage Unit of Love

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.

Mouse on mouse action.

'This relationship just isn't working. I'm out.'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

'Who says it has to be tongues?'

"I'm sorry, Sparky... I don't think we're a good fit."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

"I want you to have it. It's a lock of my hair replacement."

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

Always looking for ways to increase sales, the creative team at Mayflower Greeting Cards brainstorms new sending occasions.

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

'I'm worried about him. He's becoming emotionaly involved with the vacuum cleaner.'

Emotional Baggage Carousel. (Women waiting for bags appear angry and upset.)

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."

"Well, goodbye, Emily. It's May 19th. You may remember my having mentioned some time ago that I was going to leave you on May 19th."

"Before our date goes any further...do you have any allergy or high cholesterol issues?"

'Actually, I'm more of a control nut - not a control freak. A nut is a freak you kind of like.'