Breakup Enthusiast Gifts

Bye, Bye, Slob!

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"It's not you-it's me."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

Ereptile Dysfunction

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"Recently separated."

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"Of course we'll still be friends...."