Divorce Enthusiast Gifts

"But won't you at least stay long enough to insure a smooth transition to your successor?"

'My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common. We both want my money.'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"To our divorces—powerful tools of capital formation."

'She got the house, the car, AND a tobacco settlement!'

'I'm a divorce lawyer. That helps a lot because as a sideline, I'm writing love poems.'

'I got it free with my divorce!'

"Sir your wife would like to formally invite you to her 'bring your own lawyer' divorce party."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

Gender Symbols

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."