Divorce Enthusiast Gifts

"But won't you at least stay long enough to insure a smooth transition to your successor?"

'My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common. We both want my money.'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"To our divorces—powerful tools of capital formation."

'She got the house, the car, AND a tobacco settlement!'

'I'm a divorce lawyer. That helps a lot because as a sideline, I'm writing love poems.'

'I got it free with my divorce!'

"Sir your wife would like to formally invite you to her 'bring your own lawyer' divorce party."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Gender Symbols

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

'And I thought I was leaving you.'