Divorce Discussion Enthusiast Gifts

'The only area where he gave more than me was heartburn.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

Marriage & Divorce.

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

- Do you prefer the talking points, or the doing points?

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

'I got custody of the kids.'

Moot Point: Welcome to members of the debating club on their annual hike.

"In order to separate, one of us has to move out."

"It's agreed then. By way of compromise we'll kick this into the short grass."

"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."

"Mr Smith, your special subject is sexism - what can a woman driver not do?"

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

'Don't be so self-righteous -- YOU started out as a terrorist!'

"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

'Well, if my son does have a belligerent attitude, then he must have picked it up here at school.'