Divorce Discussion Enthusiast Gifts

'The only area where he gave more than me was heartburn.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

Marriage & Divorce.

- Do you prefer the talking points, or the doing points?

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

'I got custody of the kids.'

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

Moot Point: Welcome to members of the debating club on their annual hike.

"In order to separate, one of us has to move out."

"Mr Smith, your special subject is sexism - what can a woman driver not do?"

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."

'Don't be so self-righteous -- YOU started out as a terrorist!'

"It's agreed then. By way of compromise we'll kick this into the short grass."

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."

'Well, if my son does have a belligerent attitude, then he must have picked it up here at school.'