Heartbreak Historian Gifts

Blues artis's daily list

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Sitting in a tree

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

A Woman's Conquests.

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

The Invention of Country Music.

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"It's not jsut that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"Recently separated."

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

Her tears flowed like wine.

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

'I never forget any of my girlfriends.'

Deep Sea Tour: View the Sunken Wrecks