Valentine Survivors Pillows

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

"...until death do you a favor."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"OK, now what?"

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

The Department of Lessons Learned...

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

Generation Ex.

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Tunnel of lurve

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'How did the meeting go?'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Recently separated."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"If I'd known it would last this long, I'd have settled for the edited highlights."

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"Of course we'll still be friends...."