Unproductive Thoughts Gifts

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

Targets.

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

How to boost your work output...

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

Bummer Time Streaming

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

Mathematics.

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

'Turned out nice again.'

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

"Will people ever say of me - he made his mark?"

'Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 each week, but at the rate of 20 each day.'

'Good morning, I am Mister Greenreaper independent consultant. The management has asked me to reorganize your department in oder to improve its productivity and its competivity.'

"And another thing, stop sending me e-mails."

"Wow, it's only eleven – that still leaves time for me to ruin tomorrow by staying up doing nothing on the Internet."