Uniformed Jester Gifts

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Yawning barristers in court

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'He started it!'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Ski kicker.

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Justice

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice