Jester In Training Gifts

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Runner Bean

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"Tell me sire. How long have you had these delusions of grandeur?"

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'

"I'd suggest cutting back on the practical joking and to ask people not to pull your finger so hard."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Gooseberry Fool...

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'Any questions?'

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

Long-legged clown...

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.