Jesus Jester Gifts

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'