Jesus Jester Pillows

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'He started it!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Justice

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'