Jesting Jester Pillows

"Come on Frank. I didn't mean to catch a bigger fish than you."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Women in a cross country race

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'