Jesting Hunter Pillows

Colonel Bagshot.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Women in a cross country race

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Show Jumping Tantrums

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

Angry Bowling pins about to get back at a Tenpin Bowling ball.

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

"I paid three grand for this dress- I'll wear it wherever I want!"

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

Private View.

'Today's homily is on irreverence.'

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

Medical advice for runners road signs.

"Come on Frank. I didn't mean to catch a bigger fish than you."

'I don't think that will work.'

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

'I'm reduced to having to jog to get exercise: The farmer has clipped my wings...'

"Social Security forced you to come for this interview didn't they!"

"Over, damn you, over!"

You know, doc, I exercise every morning. I'm always running late!

Ophidiophobic Society 10k Run.

Second wind.

'Hang on Jesse! You're being dragged into the jogger's vortex!'