Uniformed Jester T-Shirts

"Is something funny, soldier?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Yawning barristers in court

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'