Jumper Jester T-Shirts

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

'You're breathing out deliberately!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Women in a cross country race

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Yawning barristers in court

Tennis ball girl.

A baby in court

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'