Unexpected Visitor Humorist Gifts

'You were lucky to catch us in - we didn't know you were coming!'

Faster, Georges, faster!

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Bathing and Showering.

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Prosthetic snake.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

A bowls player bowling a bomb

Tell Warden Fusco that if he doesn't meet our demands he's going to have another Attica on his hands!

I hate it when they start without us.

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

"Can you hear me now?"

Can You Dance?

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

Acme quick sand

A cow in a wind tunnel.

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'

"Hi, it's us, Sue and Dave, from the Tenerife in '4. You said we were welcome to come and stay anytime."

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'Can't you see I am having lunch!'