Unexpected Guest Gifts

'Good news, folks! The plumber is here!'

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'Surprise!'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Monk Parrot.

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

"Hi, it's us, Sue and Dave, from the Tenerife in '4. You said we were welcome to come and stay anytime."

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"

Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.

'I haven't been totally honest with you...'

'You were lucky to catch us in - we didn't know you were coming!'

"The control group has taken control."

"Why is it always me who had to collapse on the floor as a signal to leave? Just for once, why can't you do it?"

'Hello, Tom! Better late than never, eh?'

"This is astounding, Al. You never struck me as a jaiku kind of a guy."

"It's only for a week. You know that you and mother don't like to sleep three in a bed!"

"It's nothing, dear. Just a couple of old friends..."

"What's wrong, Joey? You're whistling. You never whistle."

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

After three weeks, Misery realizes it doesn't love company much at all.