Quirky Guest Gifts

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Introducing Piza Island.

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Fall on a desert island

Public footpath on a desert island.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

Ostrich Curoisities

Thumbing a Lift.

Giraffe Selfie

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Lavatory Waterfall

Climate change

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Penguin Remote