Quirky Greeter Gifts

Two men lifting their hats to each other, one has an Accordion under his hat

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Ostrich Curoisities

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

DIY pedicure

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

Make Your Own

Snake Charmer

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Fringe festival

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Frequently Asked Questions

"What has one horn and gives milk?"