Quirky Greeter Mugs

Two men lifting their hats to each other, one has an Accordion under his hat

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

DIY pedicure

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

Recession/Recovery

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

Make Your Own

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

Fringe festival

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Snake Charmer

'I adore a man of many parts.'

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