Greeter Mugs

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

Recession/Recovery

Not so fast! -- I'm more than just a greeter!

Property Taxes.

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Cat Reunion

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"Yes, it's good to see you again too! But all I did was go to the mailbox!"

Some people like coming home to a dog. Carly preferred an 8 piece funk brass band.

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Waiting for the fleet to come in.

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

"Yo!" "Hi, guy!" "Yo, guy!"

"Cursed To Live In HowdyTown."

"I miss handshakes"

Cards for everyone: Birthday, anniversary and 'I told you so'.

Mass-produced Christmas card: 'Dear friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance. Wishing you a very Happy Christmas!' - 'Signed with a legal and socially acceptable amount of affection based upon...'

'Sorry, I only do traditional handshakes.'

Balloons!

"Remember, lad, the firm handshake has been replaced with a good sharp jab of the elbow."

'G'Day!'

A Cornish Man

Allo?

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

"Do you realize when he reached out to shake you sniffed his ass?"

Yo yo.

Blank Christmas Card

The new house of worship greeter.

A tout a l'heure!