Greeter Pillows

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

Property Taxes.

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Cat Reunion

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

Some people like coming home to a dog. Carly preferred an 8 piece funk brass band.

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Waiting for the fleet to come in.

"Yo!" "Hi, guy!" "Yo, guy!"

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

"Cursed To Live In HowdyTown."

"I miss handshakes"

Cards for everyone: Birthday, anniversary and 'I told you so'.

Allo?

'Sorry, I only do traditional handshakes.'

"Remember, lad, the firm handshake has been replaced with a good sharp jab of the elbow."

A Cornish Man

Mass-produced Christmas card: 'Dear friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance. Wishing you a very Happy Christmas!' - 'Signed with a legal and socially acceptable amount of affection based upon...'

'G'Day!'

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

Beyond meet

"Do you realize when he reached out to shake you sniffed his ass?"

Hi! -Lo!

Blank Christmas Card

The new house of worship greeter.

"Good morning."

A tout a l'heure!

Yo yo.

"Be prepared when you meet Mr. Henderson. He gives hugs."