Unexpected Romancer Pillows

Cow at stage door has bunch of flowers for large opera singer.

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"I hate it when we fight."

"This will be hilarious!"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

King and Jester

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'They were all out of roses.'

Cupid

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

Egg Surprise

"It's the Chef Surprise."

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

Soup Surprise

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

"Surprised?"

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

'Honey, this is Alonzo

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

'It was a surprise quiz to me and the teacher - I passed!'

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!