Awkward Romancer Pillows

"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable. Happy valentine's day."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Oh, man! Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Love at First Sight

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"This will be hilarious!"

Sexual chemistry set

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'They were all out of roses.'

Consenting Adults.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"You need a mint."

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"Of course we were made for each other. We were cloned in a laboratory!"

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!

When comedians propose marriage.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'Honey, this is Alonzo

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

'If my husband comes home, duck out that door. . . He'll never see you.'

Man is walking his dachshund with a Happy Valentines Day balloon tied around dog's belly lifting it off of the sidewalk.