Awkward Lovers Pillows

Lovers Guide, "I can't get it in !"

"Will I go on a date with you?... Sure, why don't we make it Saturday, 18th May, 2086?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

What a pear?

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"I was happy that my girlfriend came to me to ask how to delete a contact from her iPhone. . . until I learned it was my contact that she was deleting."

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.