Awkward Situation Lover Pillows

Female guest congratulating the bridegroom.

'He's my wife's second cousin three times removed, but he keeps coming back.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Try to relax Karen. I was a little nervous when I visited your parents home.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"Little help?"

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"It's not what you think."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

Shy Man at Party

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

'Okay - which one was here first?'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

'Geesh! Didn't your mom ever tell you to put on clean underwear in case you get in an accident?!'