Awkward Scenario Lover Pillows

"Say, what's that funny smell?"

"They're about this big."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"We have a favor to ask."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"It's marzipan pigs."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'Remember, Harvey, the salesman said to not stay in the hot tub too long.'

'It's for you.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Mom!!'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'