Unexpected Encounter Appreciator Pillows

Road sign with a dinosaur.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Turtle Blind dates

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"But he's no longer with us."

"Do you know what time they open love?"

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

Deadpan Delivery.

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

The originator of the office birthday party.

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

'The golf balls you found by the lake are hatching.'

Unaware Fishermen have just hooked King Neptune by the nose with one of their fishing lure lines.

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"What are you doing?!"