Awkward Encounter Collector Pillows

'She says she got into it back at a carnival in Johnstown, Pennsylvania!'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.