Awkward Encounters Enthusiast Pillows

'Our special tonight is buy two, get one free. Mind if I join you?'

"Do you reject guys like me here often?"

"You are really going to like Charles. He's my favourite ex-boyfriend."

"But he's no longer with us."

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"You and your daft inventions."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

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Turtle Blind dates

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

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"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Hi honey, take me off the speakerphone.'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'