Unexpected Twist Appreciator Pillows

Sadly, 'The Great Hot Air Balloon Race' was over before it began.

Gun shop owner dies from arrow in back.

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"Racing just wasn't in my blood."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

The Final Selfie

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

Road sign with a dinosaur.

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

Deadpan Delivery.

"You are late! The rabbit left half an hour ago!"

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

"Are you binge watching again?"

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

"What are you doing?!"

'Of course the plot's ridiculous, it's Opera.'

"Do you sell arsenic?"

'Woho! Chicken soup.'

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

Three pigs sit down to eat roast wolf