Unexpected Twist Admirer Pillows

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

An unexpected development during round three of the annual nuclear physics play-off.

'My card - I'm an optician.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

The Final Selfie

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

If Shakespeare were alive today

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"You are late! The rabbit left half an hour ago!"

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

"This neighborhood still attracts the occasional exile."

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

The unexpected end of the journey.

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'