Umpires Gifts

"As expected... the call goes in for Scissors."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Cricket widow's revenge 2

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'How's that, Umpire?'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Baseball.

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

You promised you wouldn't bring work home with you!

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

The public was right

'Balk!'

Referee cop.

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'Steeee-rike three!'

Some Cricket Novelties.