Umpire Aficionado Gifts

In addition to players, some major league umpires are suspected of using steroids.

'Go back and get a bat! I'll decide when it's raining hard enough to call the game!'

"My ultimate sports fantasy is to see a star player request a baseball autographed by the umpire crew."

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Back to school.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

Why moms make bad refs.

'...I don't like your chances!'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Fox hunting.