Umpire Enthusiast Gifts

' Come on ump! That's two in a row! Hello?...Mr. Umpire?'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'If you'd like a better look, I'd be happy to stand behind you for a few innings.'

Queen of Upcycling!

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

Baseball.

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'How's that, Umpire?'

"Fashion Week"

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"