Umpire Admirer Gifts

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

The rock caricature

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'...I don't like your chances!'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cricket widow's revenge 2

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

Police Cow!

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)