Referee Aficionado Gifts

'... And if pepper spray has no effect and he continues to argue the call, slap him with a technical foul.'

Why moms make bad refs.

'The only thing I can figure is that a game took place without a single fan criticizing the officials.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Back to school.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Raheem Sterling

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Cristiano Ronaldo

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Football.

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Fox hunting.