Umpire Aficionado Pillows

'Go back and get a bat! I'll decide when it's raining hard enough to call the game!'

"My ultimate sports fantasy is to see a star player request a baseball autographed by the umpire crew."

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Why moms make bad refs.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'