Umpiring Gifts

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

The old 'good ump, bad ump' ploy.

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

'Go back and get a bat! I'll decide when it's raining hard enough to call the game!'

Blind Referee

"Kill the third base umpire."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Reach for the Star.

"Women Supporting Women!"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Teamwork!

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

An old man growing berries

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea