Tv Programmer Gifts

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

''It's a wonderful life' will not be seen tonight, because our station manager is feeling sort of cynical.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

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'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Google car."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Cut!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."