Programmer Gifts

'The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that can convert hindsight into foresight.'

Computer thinks: 'I'm sure it's got a mind of it's own!'

Shortcut out of maze.

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

Online form - Submit.

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'Sorry Mike. You're evenly matched in technical skills and productivity, but Zorgbot is simply more affable.'

Computer with owner on a leash like a dog

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'

"I think we could work very well together."

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

"Bad news- some kid just created an app that creates apps."

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

Web Content Management

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

At long last, true artificial intelligence. 'The heck with this. Let's go fishing!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Tidy up yer website, gov?"

'I hear he's a software pirate.'

'My robot - lawyer is here, Your Honor, but he forgot his software...'

Soul Search / No Results

'Gimme all your cache!'

Learn to Speak: French, Spanish, HTML, CSS.

'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'

'What I appreciate even more than its remarkable speed and accuracy are the words of understanding and compassion I get from it.'

"They found a defect in the new chip. Looks like someone was asleep at the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny switch."

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

Girl has a very helpful computer.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'That must be the new neighbor. I hear he's a real computer geek!'