Software Programmer Gifts

'Programmers at a cocktail party.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Google car."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

The DaVinci Code

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Robotic Man

'Here's MY information highway!'

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

Evolution.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."