Program Developer Gifts

TV Situations vacant.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Google car."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

The DaVinci Code

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Robotic Man

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Evolution.

'Can our software do that?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.