Developers Gifts

"Make it flimsier and even more infuriating."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Computer Bore

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Bright idea

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Back to work...

Friday

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

Robotics. He's programmed to play video games all day long. Planned adolescence!

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"You have word-ill."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'